Smells like Rain

I think I know why I don't blog much nowadays. At first it was being too busy with work and being a new mother. Since losing my job in February there still hasn't been much to talk about, aside from that, and I try not to think about that (speaking of which, my next check will only be $26, the $1 left on my account plus the $25 stimulus. Yay! I can pay... One bill with that and have a few bucks left.). During the rare times I do want to blog, it's just been so long that I can't get into it. It would be nice if I could snap out of it.

I was supposed to blog shortly after my birthday on the 7^th. Really, not much with that either. I wasn't in the mood to do much, I was sick. I can't even take a bite of my birthday cake or I know I'll regret it, sick. I ended up not being able to eat much the few days prior. We celebrated, or at least attempted to between the sickness, my birthday on the 6^th since my mom had an appointment. It's a good thing, because on my actual birthday the weather was horrible. It seems to get that way whenever I have plans to leave the apartment. One of my brothers wanted to take me out to eat at the restaurant I just so happen to have been craving for over the last few months. My friend that I spoke of in my last post didn't get to hang out with me since I was ill. We also had plans to go out and eat before she went home. At least I was able to eat half a chicken burrito my mom made. That ended up being my birthday meal, lol.

My parents got me a couple of purses. I usually grab a cheap but nice looking one and use it until it falls apart, but these ones are actually really good quality. They'll last me forever. I'm also wearing the Skechers Shape-Ups my mom purchased. They're actually really comfortable. For the price, they better work. Like my purses, I can keep my shoes in good shape for a while, so I'm not feeling too bad about the price. Other than that, I received money and a gift card. I'm trying not to spend them on needs and get at least one thing I want, but I did say I'm only getting $26 for a week >


Other than that, I've been trying not to stress out. I can't tell if my hair's shedding more than normally again, or if it's just winter shedding. I wouldn't be surprised, one of my family members is sick, and not in the horrible but I can deal with it until it goes away way I was. She's taking medicine to see if that clears things up. If not, she has to have a biopsy to figure out what it is. Since hearing the news my head has been hurting a bit, and I didn't sleep the following night. Lately that's been getting to me more than the money issues.

I'm up, and I've yet to sleep. I know, I promised I would stop staying up so late. I was still going to bed late; however, I was going to bed earlier and waking earlier. Then I got sick. Then I got stressed out. Then Aaliyah got sick (recently) so I was up throughout the last few nights with her. Now I just have a stuffy nose, yet I'm still stressed the hell out.

Noel started a temporary job last week. It's out closer to LA so he moved back with some relatives. Yesterday was the first time in a few weeks since Aaliyah and I've seen him. He came to town only to head back at 3am today to get to work (by 5am). He said he didn't need to set the alarm since I'd be up awake.

Thanksgiving went pretty well. Aaliyah was being a little brat on and off because she wasn't feeling 100%. Once she settled down, she was way too happy to be playing with her cousins to eat. I was just glad to be out of the house and around family so overall the day went well. That, and stuffing. I wish I was eating some right now.

For the first time in the last 3 years I didn't purchase anything on Black Friday or Cyber Monday. I would have loved to get most of my Christmas shopping done now. I just lacked the money. Unemployment's messing up again. They shorted me on one check, I had to email them for an answer (there's almost no way to get through on the phone), a week later I received a reply, I followed the instructions and mailed the check back along with a letter explaining what went wrong and what I was instructed to do, and received a check for an even smaller amount. So, I'm waiting on another response for that, and another check for other weeks. What a crappy time for this to happen. I wanted to take some online classes, yet they cut you off for a phone interview (which takes 3 weeks to get, plus a week to receive your check) to determine if your school would interfere with getting a job. Online classes won't, I should be approved. School starts next month, by the time this is straightened out school will be started and I'll be cut right back off.

The list of jobs I come up with is getting thin. I'd go ball up in a dark corner and cry, but if someone saw me they probably wouldn't hire me.

My friend, Latoya, from back in high school called that night. Our little brothers are friends and hang out all the time. Not too long after she graduated in `06 she moved to the other coast, so we haven't seen each other in forever. We chatted for a while and made plans to get a few of us together before she heads home. Aaliyah's been feeling a lot better so we might go out to eat or catch a movie in a couple of days. It's been forever since I've gone out with friends, and that started before I had my daughter so I can't even blame that, lol. Hopefully my social mind-state sticks at least until then. I don't know. The last few years I've gone through long stages of feeling out of place when it comes to being around people aside from my family. Those days/weeks I just want to stay home.

Also, I've been craving apple pies from McDonalds. Haven't had those in a year or so. Just thought I'd throw that out there.

Good night. I think... I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

An (early) Happy Thanksgiving! And a late Happy Thanksgiving to those of you in Canada.

I'll be back, hopefully, to blog somewhat regularly again. Every time I take a break to get things together, as soon as things look better something else comes up. Honestly, my problem isn't me needing to get myself together, it's someone else not taking care of their responsibilities that's making my life hell. One day he's acting all ~*nice and caring*~ and the next he's being an ass. I'm getting tired of it.

Last week we took Aaliyah to one of the museums in town. My town actually has a few of them. The one we stopped by is dedicated to the history of the area. It's a small place, but we live in a small town, lol. We wanted to take her somewhere to be out of the house, as long as it was indoors where it was warm. She had fun looking around at everything. Of course, she didn't understand most of it but she just enjoyed being out and having us talk to her about everything. She got to see everything before she switched into grumpy grump mode.

I ran into an old coworker a few weeks ago. She was hired the same time I was and left some months later for a better job. I've seen her a couple of times throughout the last few years. Well, since she couldn't ask me how the now closed store was doing along with how I was doing, this time she asked if I had found another job yet. Nope. One of the places she works at does somewhat random hiring, with only a few days notice. The only way you can find out is by accidentally showing up that day, lol, or by catching a note posted in the door a day before. That's it. She asked for my number and she's supposed to call when they're hiring again. Hopefully she still has my number. She'll put in a good word for me, and since I was management at my store I might have a better chance than I have lately. While I did work for three years, I've only had that one job so my experience is still lacking a bit (though, I did learn a lot there). There's too many people looking for jobs around here, and not enough jobs. Hell, it took me long enough to get that job.

Don't ask me what I'm going to do about Christmas. I feel bad about people getting me gifts if I can't give anything back.

My day as been so boring that I'm actually blogging, lol. The only thing I'm looking forward to is Criminal Minds at 9pm. I'm off to get some things done by then (that includes visiting your blogs ). Take care!

I have too much to deal with right now. Even blogging about it seems like too much to handle. I'm just up because I can't sleep despite being weak and tired.

Sorry for never posting. Actually, I have lots of feelings. Feelings I used to pour out in my blog all the time. I just never do, even though I know it would make a world of difference in dealing with how I feel. I wrote a few posts that I never published. *shrug* It sucks that even when I am motivated I'm not motivated enough to finish the job. Blah.

LeeLee "helped" (watched, talked to me about what we were doing, then held the lids for me while I filled containers with leftover ingredients) me finish making some chicken enchiladas an hour ago. Yeah, it's late, but I'm still not sleeping. The last few nights I tried just going to bed, but as with any other day I'm just there for hours until I do sleep. So I'm still awake. LeeLee was asleep for a few hours and then stayed up (she'll be in bed soon). The chicken breast had been in the crock pot almost all day (on low), so I didn't want to put it off again.

I was visiting a Simpsons community, clicked a YouTube video that was commented to me, and then clicked this recommended video. LeeLee giggled along and started singing "doo doo do doo..." These series of events have led me arrive at the decision to teach Aaliyah to respond this way when I ask, "Aaliyah, you like ballet?" She will probably pick this up before knowing how to use the pedals on her bike instead of dragging her feet or going backwards. I am a good mother.

Hm. I think this post is a sign I'll be watching my Simpsons DVDs instead of Criminal Minds while I'm waiting to sleep. Good night morning.